Understanding The Drama In Life

Everyone is watching "Fear Factor" on TV. I don't feel like watching the show tonight. As I was surfing the net, I found this beautiful poem. I can't help but to paste it here in my page. A Broken Heart by Shelly Dyke I know how it feels to have a broken heart, Every day I feel that pain And I feel it will forever rain. Though my situation may be different, My Love is across the world from me, I know how it feels when your heart just isn't free. He used to call me, But then the phone calls quit, He tells me he loves me and wants me, Then ignores me the next minute, Every day my heart breaks Because the way he treats me, But I feel so deeply that he is the 'one' And he tells me that he believes I am his soulmate. Why then does he treat me like this? Maybe its fear, But whatever it is, I just want him here... More every day, But things just aren't the same, Because I know tomorrow everything will change. Every word, every single line of this poem depicts...

It was simply awesome. That was my first remark after watching the movie “The Chronicles of Narnia – The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe”. My kids enjoyed the movie and so did I. It’s a great movie with a touching story, an enchanting journey, a tale of friendship and courage. Many things can be learnt from this movie, lessons for the children and some reminders for the adults. What I enjoy most about this movie is the spectacular and stunning visual effects. In Narnia, everything is possible, everything comes alive even the trees. It’s the land of talking animals, dwarfs, giants, centaurs, a battle between the bad and the evil [well, not much difference with our real world too]. In short, Narnia is a fantasy world that comes alive on screen, exactly like what I have pictured in my mind when I was a kid. The 4 children are adorable and they have played their roles well despite being inexperienced actors. Edmund reminds me so much of Kevin. He must have looked like that when he was a k...

People used to say that it is hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting other's feelings and standing up for what you believe. How true it is, I am not quite sure. What I am certain of is that I have hurt someone terribly and I don't like the idea of it. What else can I say? Hereafter let me hold my tongue so my words will be left unspoken and my voices will be left unheard in hoping that no more hearts will be wounded.

"Do not tire of giving, but do not give your leftovers. Give until it hurts, until you feel the pain" - Mother Theresa But what happen when you give too much till you have nothing left to offer, not even to yourself? The pain is unbearable until you don't feel anything at all, only to realise that you are not being appreciated. And to feel appreciated is a person's greatest need. No more words left to speak!

Eres Todo en Mi Eres todo en mi El sol que me ilumina y me hace tan feliz La fuerza que conduce mi existir Solo tu, mi amor Si me abrazo a ti Yo siento que tu esencia se dispersa en mi No queda ni un espacio en mi sentir Eres tu mi luz Eres todo en mi Y lluevo entre mis labios todo tu sabor Cruzare mi bien oceanos mas profundos Por saber de ti Eres todo en mi Por siempre y para siempre Desde que te vi Nunca mas tendré Temor, pues con tu amor volvi a sentir Y a renacer Volare por ti A un mundo donde beba solo de tu amor Dejando la distancia tras de mí Solos tu y yo Eres todo en mi Y lluevo entre mis labios todo tu sabor Cruzare mi bien oceanos mas profundos Por saber de ti Eres todo en mi Por siempre y para siempre Desde que te vi Nunca mas tendré Temor, pues con tu amor volvi a sentir Y a renacer Bailaremos hoy Sobre una nube blanca que en el cielo esta Tus ojos como estrellas brillaran Para mi, por mi Jamas se ira la magia de sentir tu aliento Sobre mi volcando mis s...

Siapalah Aku Siapalah aku ini Yang ingin memetik cintamu Siapalah seadanya Diriku di sisimu Kau punya segalanya Sedangkan aku insan hina Hidupku penuh dengan kisah duka Antara kita jurang nya berbeza Biarlah usahlah Bermain dengan api Kelaknya terbakar sendiri Biarlah tersimpan Segala perasaan Rahsia hatiku terhadapmu Siapalah aku "Siapalah Aku" or "Who Am I", a cool song from Amy Mastura. Watched her on TV, singing this song last night. Simple and yet very touching. Found the lyrics here in one of her sites. Who am I to love you? And the rest...bla bla bla bla... God knows.

Desert Places by: Robert Frost Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast In a field I looked into going past, And the ground almost covered smooth in snow, But a few weeds and stubble showing last. The woods around it have it--it is theirs. All animals are smothered in their lairs. I am too absent-spirited to count; The loneliness includes me unawares. And lonely as it is that loneliness Will be more lonely ere it will be less-- A blanker whiteness of benighted snow With no expression, nothing to express. They cannot scare me with their empty spaces Between stars--on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home To scare myself with my own desert places. One of my favourite poems by Robert Frost. Desert, what comes to my mind is a wide expand of area with sudden change of temperature where it is hot and dry in the day and extreme cold at night, mirage [full of lies obviously, and so is our life], isolation and sadness. Closely related to the kind of desert in my...

Berbumbungkan angkasa kelabu Lantainya bumi retak seribu Setiap langkah perjalananmu Beronak berliku Betapa berat mata memandang Berat bahu menggalas bebanan Belum sempat menitis ke pipi Tangisan kering sendiri Berkali tersungkur Pandanganmu kabur Namun azam meneruskan hidup Tak pernah luntur Engkaulah perwira Di medan derita Merentasi ranjau kehidupan Dengan harapan Luahan rasa derita jiwa Pada wajah tiada rahsia Menunggu malang berganti tuah Usah kau berputus asa Kaulah wira by Jac, the first "Malaysian Idol". Above is the theme song for the reality program “Bersamamu” at TV3. Can’t stop the hot tears from streaming down my cheeks each time I watched this heart-rending show. Who doesn’t when you see a four-year old girl weeping to have some sugar, instead of fish or chicken, in her rice for dinner? Her face gleamed with joy when her sister added some, the way she wanted. Then happily she continued eating her dinner without any complained, feeling contented. That is what the...

You are always on my mind, You are always on my mind, Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't die, Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied... ~Elvis Presley~ Someone theoretically belongs to me should be feeling this way. Unfortunately, he doesn't. Couldn't care less. Why? This 'lil heart... ...empty and hollow, ...lost and astray, ...defeated and rejected, ...tortured and distressed... This 'lil heart... ...sick! sick! sick! How much longer can this 'lil heart bear? Why do you create a total eclipse in this 'lil heart of mine? How do I reach your frozen heart? Where do I seek these answers from? These are the things that are always on my mind!

As usual, I am not able to sleep tonight. My body is aching, my eyes are exhausted, but my mind is not able to bring myself to the Land of Sweet Dreams. My soul is drifting away, floating in the middle of nowhere…wanting so bad to harbour myself there, in the no-pain land. Unfortunately, my mind has been trying so hard but to no success, only to realize that I am trapped. Trapped and got myself tangled up in this web. I am wretched with this so-called cyber world. Too many fallacies and inadequacies and obviously these shortcomings are tearing me down. However, amongst the many “fake” people here and despite the pain of having to bear 1001 lies from them, I am considered lucky and I am always thankful to The Almighty for sending me two genuine sensitive guys in this created artificial world. To Sazad , my deepest appreciation for your intense love and to Shawn , my heartfelt gratitude for your kind friendship. Thank you for adding some spice into my life and for generously taught me th...

The changing hues of the sky, Deliberately bring tears to my eyes, The falling leaves of the autumn, Never can it make this broken heart blossoms. As the winter wind caresses my naked face, I stand here all alone in complete darkness feeling so chill… so cold… freezing… There’s no way to go, no way to hide Entirely lost… my soul is.

Thank God! It is over at last!! I have finally finished the last paper for this semester and I will be free from the work load, at least until the end of December. I am pleased with the marks awarded by our supervisor for the project works, but at the same time I also feel sorry for some of my friends who have been very hardworking and not being evaluated appropriately compared to one or two other friends who obviously “work smart” in accomplishing the task given. I know not what seem to be the shortcomings here, but I guess these things do happen anywhere. This time maybe it is just his “good luck”. It is hard indeed for those who work diligently to accept this unfortunate fate, but what I believe is that you guys have gained more than just what you have expected. You may seem to lose from one side but on the other hand, unknowingly you have learnt a lot from these happenings. I know it is easy for me to say, but I believe the marks awarded are nothing compared to the knowledge that w...

Here I am again in this 'lil page of mine after few days of silence, not knowing what to say, what to write. It has been raining for many days and that makes the weather very soothing and cooling. But too bad the moon is hiding somewhere behind those clouds. And tonight like many other nights before, I couldn't put myself to sleep. Thinking about the books I need to study in preparation for the final exam. Need to stay focus, just for a 'lil while. God, why too many distractions????? Only one more paper to go. Then I will be free before the new semester starts early next year. A friend told me that the results for the 2 papers are out. That fast? So, logged in the student portal for the exam results. I am not satisfied at all with one of the papers. This stupid paper is gonna pull my cgpa down. S***!!!!!!!!!!!! Got a title for my next poem..."Autumn in my heart, Winter in my soul" The wind blows my heart like the falling leaves, Then what???????????? Oh boy! Can...

I know where you are...

The house is very quiet. In fact the whole neighbourhood is in total silence, not even the howling of the stray dogs. Such a peaceful night. Everyone is sailing in their sea of dreams. Why am I still here, wide awake? Why do I not feel sleepy at all tonight?? And I don't feel like studying either. The moon is hiding tonight, hiding behind the clouds. Not a single star can be seen either. The sky is pretty cloudy, perhaps it will rain. No, no I don't think so. It is also windy, so the wind will eventually blow the clouds away to some other parts of the sky. That's great, means I can see my moon again! It still looks beautiful in the sky even though it's only half. Hmm... maybe after this I will continue admiring my hidden moon and try to finish my novel before I too can join others in the land of dreams. I am leaving this 'lil page of mine with a song in my heart...G' night and sweet dreams wherever you are... Yang amat ku terkilan Dikau pergi tiada pesanan Yang ...

Two papers done, two more to go. Thank God, today’s paper is not too tough. I was so worried because I didn’t have any time to go through my books yesterday. But how can I study knowing that my friend was having a complication with her 6 month-old pregnancy. Spent the whole day at the maternity ward with her and helping her out with few things. It was a pleasant feeling to be in the ward to see the newborn babies in the nursery. Some were sleeping soundly and one or two were crying with their high pitch ‘lil voices which sound like music to me. I realized that there is a notice saying the hospital is a baby-friendly hospital, which means bottle milk for the newborns is strictly prohibited. It is indeed a good attempt of the government to encourage breastfeeding instead of using the formula milk. It is essential to know that breastfeeding has a lot of benefits to the babies as well as to the mothers and even if you are able to breastfeed for only a short period, your baby will experienc...

Gerhana yang melanda seluruh alam semesta dunia gelap sunyi tanpa cahaya begitulah hatiku terasa Siapa yang relai bernafas dalam derita membiar perasaan jadi sengsara dicengkam sedih yang tak terduga Ke mana hilangnya keindahan yang ingin kudamba diselimut rasa sepi keseorangan dihiris kelukaan Sentuhan mu yang pertama bagaikan madu menyiram asmara tapi itu hanyalah kepalsuan tersingkir aku di dalam khayalan Perlukah aku bercinta andai hidup berteman airmata biarkan saja aku bersendiri usah kau memandang wajahku lagi Sesungguhnya tiada jalan teduh untuk bersama ku rela kepedihan menjadi luka berakhirlah riwayat cintaku Sentuhan mu yang pertama bagaikan madu menyiram asmara tapi itu hanyalah kepalsuan tersingkir aku di dalam khayalan Perlukah aku bercinta andai hidup berteman airmata biarkan saja aku bersendiri usah kau memandang wajahku lagi...

How many hearts has he been stealing? The way he stole my heart How many hearts has he been breaking? The way he broke my heart I wonder, I wonder, I wonder But I really don’t want to know. Now I am standing here all alone, No more telephone calls to drive my blues away, to wake me in the middle of my sleep, No one to wipe my tears, No one to keep me warm, No one to make me strong. You lifted me high and let me fall in the abyss, How do I fly now when I have lost the wind beneath my wings? What am I to do? Wish it could be like before, But he doesn’t need me anymore.

Eid is a time to come together as a community and to renew friendship and family ties. This is a time for peace for all Muslims in the world to devote to prayers and mutual well-being. Muslims in Malaysia celebrate Eid like any other muslims throughout the world. The night before Eid will be filled with the takbiir which is held in the mosques. In my parents’ home, we will always have some men from the mosque nearby to recite the takbiir and they will repeat this recital from house to house. Eid also witnesses a huge migratory pattern of the muslims, from big metropolitan cities to rural areas. This is what is known as Balik Kampung - literally going back to home town to celebrate Eid with parents and families. Big cities like Kuala Lumpur will be like dead cities. You can actually sleep on the road for awhile. There will be no cars or at least the amount of traffic will not be as heavy as the normal days. My normal routine, one day before the Eid, is none other but to help my mom and ...

As I was flipping through my books today, I received a text message on my phone from my beloved cousin, wishing me Salam Aidilfitri. It has been some time since I last heard from her, due to our tight schedule and stuffs, especially her nature of work. It was a pleasant feeling having to receive news from someone that you have not heard for quite awhile. Your message, Yana, somehow triggers me to walk down the memory lane… Remember the time when we were young? The four of us, you, our 2 younger sisters that possess the same name, and I, were extremely close at that time. Speaking of names, I can still remember the name you used to call me. I hate it when you call me "Sneezy Suzy" even though it rhymes. Makes me sound like one of the seven dwarfs of Snow White's. But I think it sounds cute now even though I don't sneeze that much anymore. We would never miss the chance of meeting each other each time during the school holidays. I simply love our “tour” around the campu...

There has been no class since Monday. It’s the study week. The final exam is just around the corner. But why do I feel this way? I know I am not prepared and yet I don’t feel like doing my revision at all. Why do I have to feel sorry for everyone and let others hurt me as they please? Many things have been bothering me. God, I need to stay focus!! I don’t even know how to express it here!! Feel like…s***! Can’t wait to end my short sem next year. I need to “disappear” for a moment. Away from everyone I know, away from my “housemate” especially. For tonight, I need to rest in peace for it’s going to be another long day tomorrow. I miss the moon.

Sitting in my room, feeling trapped as usual. I don't feel like doing my revision tonight. I am feeling sick and depressed. The song on the radio catches my attention. I wish I can download the song here on this page of mine. Its title is "Enggan" which means "Do not want to". I am not sure who the composer is, but she/he sure writes beautiful love songs. Anyways, here is the lyrics that I found here in the net. Enggan berterusan Dalam penasaran Dalam kegelapan ku tercari Enggan ku mencari Dalam penyiksaan Kini cinta ku masih gelisah... Enggan dipersia, enggan berkelana Semarak cinta belum terbela Ku sentiasa akur berdoa Enggan kecewa Nak ku mimpi tapi enggan terlena Ku dan sepi nan terintim Ku disaksi oleh jelapang kasih Nan terbentang kekeringan Aku sebenarnya insan yang dahaga Cinta tapi tidak terdaya Mestikah aku yang dulu meluahkan Jalan cintamu enggan mengundang... Engkau dah berteman aku merasakan... Cintamu masih berkelana Cuba kau nyatakan walau kepahit...

It was such a tiring day!! Wasn't at home the whole day, was in campus watching "A Room With A View" this morning with my buddies. It will help us in understanding the text better, my instructor said. Not all of my classmates turned up as most of them have gone home, "balik kampung" for the eid holidays. After doing some reviews, decided to join my buddies for window shopping at Midvalley. I was reluctant at first as I have a lot to study and was having fever at the same time, but on the second thought, why not, I don't feel like studying today. And if I'm home, it would be a disaster for me 'cause I will be staring at my laptop, waiting and waiting for some one, finally end up doing nothing! I really hate myself for that. Came home at half past ten. Pretty late and was feeling exhausted. I think my fever is gonna get worse tonight. But I need to sign in to check if there is any mails for me...but as expected, nothing, not even one... none from him. ...

I have watched the movie couple of months back actually and now, reading the novel. Very interesting gothic romance I have ever seen and read before. To me, the story is full of vengeance and woe. The anger and bitterness that was built in Heathcliff has made him to marry Cathy’s sister-in-law, Isabella Linton. Emotionally wounded upon knowing the fact that his childhood lover is married to someone else instead of him, Heathcliff marries Isabella merely for revenge and for her wealth. He doesn’t love the poor lady; his heart still yearns for Cathy. It is undeniable that Cathy is also and has always been in love with Heathcliff. She has this kind of “wild” attitude that matches well with her gypsy lover’s personality. They share the same wild, romantic passion and by spending their time at the moor, they seem to be lost in their own world, drifting away in their sea of love. The moor gives them a new hope and a new life. The scenery is simply captivating and exquisite in beauty. Anyone ...

Amazed…speechless…Is this really you, doctor? I was stunned upon seeing my instructor that day. Couldn’t believe my eyes and can hardly say a word. Finally, with great difficulty, with my voice stuck in my throat, I managed to congratulate her. Oh my God!! You finally did it!!! You have successfully burnt your unwanted fats and now you sure look like a sweet sixteen girl. Way to go doc!! I was wondering how she managed to lose her weight that much in less than one year. It took me 5 days of aerobics in a week for 2 long years before I could reduce 12 kg. Stubborn fats I have in my body, huh? [Just like the owner…:)]And now, it is even worse. I do not have ample time like before anymore, ever since I started studying. I have to stop going to the gym, and God knows how I miss my aerobics classes. Well, exercising is not about getting the right shape only. But it helps you a lot in strengthening your bones, control weight and condition heart and lungs. To me, aerobics has helped me in red...

Merely my jumbled up thoughts and feelings that I placed in an unrhythmic stanzas... My Love, My words may be too harsh to be heard by your ears, too impolite to be seen by your eyes, too vulgar to be read by your lips. I know not how to reach you my love, For the slightest mistake I make shall sent you away for hours, days, weeks for months... Each night and day, my heart cries for you, yearns for you, longs for you... wondering if I have the right to feel this way pondering if I have the right to even think this way If ever you feel that loving you was a mistake, once again I beg your pardon, there is nothing I crave from you my love, just a piece of sincerity that will lessen my burden. Guide me and teach me my love, lead me to the accurate way to your woeful heart, so you shall not be in pain anymore, so you shall not vanished from my sight anymore, so you shall always occupy my heart for now and eternity.

My Love, Staring at the empty screen, Loneliness grows in abundance, Makes me want to scream, The feelings occur in your absence. My guiding light, my north star, Don't you know that is what you are? If loving you was a mistake, please do forgive me, I can't deny what my heart said, cause you mean everything to me. If loving you was a mistake, then I do have a request, tell me the truth for God's sake, playing with my feelings wouldn't be the best. Swan Princess

My Love, Let the music speaks... The rhythm of my lonesome heart, The symphony of my sombre feelings, The orchestra of my eternal love. The lonesome heart that yearns for you, The sombre feelings that is lost without you, The eternal love that will always meant for you... Swan Princess

The weather has been gloomy for the past couple of days. The eye of heaven does not seem to shine as bright as before. It foreshadows everything. Malaysia is in mourned. We have lost our first lady this morning. It was pretty shocking to me and to the rest as well, because we heard that she is recovering. But then, this is beyond our will. Everything, life and death, is in the hands of the Almighty. He loves her more than we do. She died peacefully in the presence of her beloved husband and children. My condolence to Pak Lah and family and May Allah bestows the strength that you need to keep going. Personally I feel that our first lady was one lucky lady for she has a husband who loves her more than anything and most importantly, will always pray and recite the holy Quran for her even after she is physically no longer by his side. May your soul now rest in peace. Al-Fatihah.

What a splendid afternoon! I finally got a chance to walk in the rain without my umbrella. I don’t exactly remember when the last time I did this was but what I can say is that I simply love walking in the rain. I accept none of my friends' offer in sharing their umbrellas with me. I insisted to walk in the rain; what's the big deal? After all they are only teardrops from heaven and not bullet rains showered by the adults’ game. I don't know what makes me do this today, but I just feel like it and I am glad I did. Rain or to be more precise, water, is one of the most important elements in life. Even in movies, especially the ones from Bollywood, there will surely be one or two scenes showing the male and female characters caught in the rain. I think that’s pretty romantic…J I remember watching “Great Expectations”, adaptation from Charles Dickens’s novel, where water is seen to represent life for the two protagonists, Fin and Estella. I love the part where they kissed each...

Here I am again after 3 days of silence. Well, not really in silence actually. I was pretty occupied updating my other blog, need to hand in to my course coordinator you see. I am done with it last night and I am really glad, feel like half of my burden gone as well. This has been a very taxing semester as I have to do a lot of research works and stuffs. But I have enjoyed myself any way and have gained a lot myself. Studies finishing, only two more courses to go and 6 weeks of practical teaching early next year. Then I will be free from all this. Gosh!!! What am I to do?? Back to school, teach, attending my gems, then what?? I need to do something about this. I have to work things out. Continue studying? Most probably...I have to make myself busy doing things I like. Otherwise, I will end up being miserable in my life again.

It has been raining the whole night. When I got up to eat something in order to observe saum in this holy Ramadhan, I could hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops falling on the window pane. This is the most beautiful morning I have ever experienced. I do not know why but I feel so at peace. Nothing unusual happened to me, maybe because I love the rain so much, especially when it rains in the night. As I lay myself on the cold bed, I could still hear the droplets of the tears of heaven, making such beautiful harmonious sound. It is like a piece of music to my ears. Wonder if my unreachable moon could hear the sound of the beautiful rain too… Dear Lord, thank you for giving me these feelings of serenity and tranquility in my mind. I do not wish this moment to end. My mind wanders further and further, deeper and deeper into the land of dreams… I do not want to wake up.

Tired with all these, for restful death I cry, As, to behold desert a beggar born, And needy nothing trimm'd in jollity, And purest faith unhappily forsworn, And guilded honour shamefully misplaced, And maiden virtue rudely strumpeted, And right perfection wrongfully disgraced, And strength by limping sway disabled, And art made tongue-tied by authority, And folly doctor-like controlling skill, And simple truth miscall'd simplicity, And captive good attending captain ill: Tired with all these, from these would I be gone, Save that, to die, I leave my love alone. Beautifully written, well composed, deeply touched. One of Shakespeare's sonnets, which happens to be one of my favourites. "Tired with all these..." Indeed, I am. I am just too tired, tired and tired. Tired of hoping when not getting, tired of giving when not receiving, tired of loving and then losing. Only to realize at the end of the day, all that is left for me is nothing but my woefully tears. Withou...

Having to lose a friend recently which I truly regretted, has given me the urge to find out more about the true meanings of friendship and how to be a better friend. A friendship is an important bond where the ultimate goal is aid through communication. Communication cannot be established without contact. The contact that initiates a friendship can take the form of a letter, speech or even phone calls and nowadays with the incredible popularity of the Internet, people meet others and share views across the world at the tips of their fingers. Whether you meet your friend at the coffee shop or in the virtual world, are not the matter. This is merely because the emotions and feelings involved are completely real, even though your friend is only your “fantasy” friend whom you met in the cyberspace. What matters the most is how you value your friendship. Friends are all about respecting each other. Without respect, friendship can be hurtful. Many of us think it takes a slap or a punch to hu...

You cant decide all the people White and Black in this world... Some are brown too... May god bless you. swan princess

"Love is one big illusion, I should try to forget, But there's something left in my head, I won't forget the way your kisses, The feeling's so strong, Were lasting for so long.... You're the one who set it up, Now you're the one who make it stop, I'm the one who's feeling lost right now. You were never satisfied No matter how I tried, Now you wanna say goodbye to me..." One of my favourite hits by Michael Learns To Rock. Nothing new about this song, but why do I have to hear it again. Why now? One of my classmates used this sad song for his presentation and was talking about one sided love, about how painful it is to be dumped by someone whom you love and trusted. Well presented Wazir!! Sitting at the corner of my class feeling so lost, isolated and empty.

The apple of my eyes, when he was 6 and my pride and joy when she was 6 months old. That was approximately 6 years ago...They are grown kids now. To me, you both will always be my little precious gems, my beautiful pearls, the only reason for me to keep going and to be here...Miss you both a whole bunch!!!

It sure feels so good to know that someone who is in your mind, do take some effort to say hello to you. What else can I say but to express my heartfelt gratitude. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Finally...I did it!! The pain has gone. The tooth that has been giving me trouble for the past couple of days, has finally been extracted. I am glad I made the right choice by stepping into his clinic this morning despite having butterflies in my stomach eversince I had the pain. That is not so difficult, isn't it? All I need is to gather some courage and confidence in facing the pain. And now, it is totally gone!! How simple! If only the pain I have in my life can be easily removed or extracted like my tooth...If only I knew to which doctor or dentist I could refer to, in hoping either one of them can remove my decaying emotions permanently. If only the magic touch could work well in taking away my pain and calamities. Wouldn't it be awesome? Life would be easier, the agony will not be prolonged!! Too tired. I wanna sleep.

I have spent couple of days and nights agonizing over whether or not to take my first step to meet the most feared man, to me at least, each time the ache starting to get stronger. Oh God, he is the last person on earth I wanted to be with. I have avoided as much as possible from meeting this particular man. Why now??? But last night, I don’t think I can avoid him any longer. The pain has started to become worse; the aspirins I took to soothe the pain do not seem to be working. After spending two sleepless nights, I finally have decided to meet him. Yes, I am meeting you this morning. I am ready now! I am ready for you to extract my troublesome tooth, dear dentist!!

Who can defeat the power of nature? To all of you who has lost everything in your life, there is nothing left to say but be patient. Whatever happens, happens for a reason, that is what people use to say. However, not all "Rita" storms out in a rage like that. Even if she did, it does not take that long before she gets back to her senses. To you out there [you know who you are], do show me some signs that you are not affected by this disastrous nature, do give me some signals that you are on the safe ground. May you and your beloved be protected by the Almighty always.

Am I stupid or what? Something in me has died. It must have been my heart. Damn!! Living and working with a non-beating heart? How can you survive? It is never easy; barely have enough air to breathe now. Take heed my heart. You have been ripped and shredded to pieces constantly. It’s not a surprise that you are traumatized. What hurts more than losing you is knowing that you're not fighting to keep me. People tend to let go things easily. And recently someone with a permanent head damaged has severely done the same to you, my poor heart. God knows why…My bad luck? My fate? As usual, questions left unanswered. The moral value of the story is….be careful to whom you share your heart with, be careful to whom you give your heart to so as not to get it broken. Because broken hearts do not have spare parts!! The question is...where do broken hearts go? I wanna sleep.

Ternyata aku makin cinta cinta sama kamu hanya kamu seorang kasihku tak mahu yang lain hanya sama kamu kamu yang terakhir yang kucinta...

Sometimes in one point of your life, you feel like you have been stabbed from the back, you feel betrayed by someone whom you trust and found yourself all alone. The person takes you for a swim in the sea but let you drown. Leaving you in the middle of the rough sea, gasping for air and struggling for your life…he swam away... You are a prisoner in your own mind, you are trapped in a world of anger and depressed, not knowing what to do, not knowing where to go. You are completely lost. Your soul seems to wonder about and you sometimes feel like your life is blown by the breeze, like a feather. He abandons you… It is times like these that you long to be close to God and need Him to take you into His arms. It is times like these that you question God why bring such sorrow into your life. Oh dear Lord, I complain my grief to you. Whisper to me that all these sufferings I’m going through will soon slips away. Take the black clouds away from me. Please give me the strength to face these he...

Dearest Moon, As I gazed upon your bright shiny face that night, slowly I begin to wonder if you ever realized how much you mean to me. You are so inspiring; I can never resist your moonlight. Who can anyways? I envy you, dear moon. You are never alone. You have dazzling beautiful stars all around you, ready to be at your service. If only I could be there with you, if only I could be one of your lucky stars, I would be grateful to brighten you with my little light till it burns away. Alas, a dream will only remain a dream. You are too far beyond my reach. You are indeed my unreachable, my untouchable moon. My wings aren’t strong enough to take me to you. What is left for a swan like me is only to have your glittering reflection upon my dark, mysterious lake. And wherever your moonbeam falls, that is where you will find me, that is the nearest I could get to you. Your everlasting admirer, Swan Princess

Have you ever dreamed of being alone stranded on an isolated island? What would you do if you were to be in that situation? Do you think you can survive? If I were to ask myself these questions, my answer would definitely be no. I don’t think I can survive there…alone!!! No way José!! I don’t think I have the courage to do so. I remember watching the movie “Cast Away” starred by Tom Hanks, couple of years ago. Even though it was only a movie, I admire the courage and determination of the main character. He survived the plane crash, which I think by luck, and he managed to survive on the deserted island all by himself. What I learnt from the movie is that man can survive alone, physically but still needs a friend to communicate with, which I believe to be one of the most important elements in life. Having to watch the movie somehow has given me the chance to think of how important it is to have the strong will power; the courage and determination, the creativity in utilizing the things ...

When she was young, she was surrounded by many and yet still she was lonely but she survived somehow. When she was young, she fell in love, never thought it would be gone, she was lonely but she survived somehow. One fine day, he came to take her away and she has no say but to follow and obey she was lonely but she survived somehow. Thinking his love would come her way his love would brightens her day. Yet deep in her heart the loneliness would not go away been haunting her every single night and day. He knows she exists but does he really care? No more words she promised Not that she wouldn’t dare but the pain she had was nothing beyond compare. Sailing and sailing, drifting apart… further and further each day, and yet he is proud to say “You are mine in every way!” ~swan princess~ It is never easy to reach someone who is near, yet so far. It is never easy to sail in a boat without the oars. It is never easy to swim in the stormy sea and not get drowned. It is never easy to get back ...

Sitting here in my room, wanting so much to write something, anything…anything at all. But why there is a voice deep down in my heart tries to stop me from doing so? Why do I feel so empty, so lost? The laughter of my friends could reach my ears but why do I not hear any sound? There are many around me but why do I not see anyone? There is so much pain but why do I not feel anything? What is going on here? Have I gone insane? I wanted to cry but why do my eyes not shed a tear? The coldness, the numbness… slowly creeping, making their way into my veins, run through my blood, spreading deeper into my lost soul. Everything seems dead, or is it just me?

In the journey of life, there are times that you feel so low and helpless, and at a certain moment you feel as if you are on top of the world. To me, my journey of life is like the sailing of a ship on the sea. Sometimes the sailing can be smooth and at other times the sea becomes rough and gives you a lot of problems that you need to anchor your ship at the nearest harbour. In my life, I have stopped at several harbours before. It is at one of these harbours that I met other ships which also stopped for shelter from the storm and the rough sea. Then after some time, when the sea is calm again, it is the time for us to bid farewell and to set our sail again in order to continue the journey. However, sometimes saying goodbye is not an easy thing to do when you know at that stop you have found someone whom you really care about and understands you more than yourself do. When this happens you know your heart bleeds real bad, your eyes streamed with tears and your soul seems so lost. But d...

The smile you see on her face Like falling rays of the sunshine; Makes you want to embrace Takes you to a world of a kind. As the sun meets the horizon As the swan lovers fly in twos; The smile has started to get frozen Wanting to hide away her blues. Her smile hides the pain, Her smile hides everythin' Her smile hides what she can't gain, Only she knows what lies within. For you.... ~Swan Princess~

White is the dove Peace it surely brings Tranquility as well as true love. Red is the beating heart Vibrant feelings of affection Tendered in a well-formed art. Yellow is the sun Shining brightly from up above Bringing laughter, joy and fun. Green is the children of today For they are our voice of tomorrow Give them life never bring them sorrow. Blue is the love That is so true To be shared between me and you!! ~Swan Princess~

Of all the plays that I have studied this semester, the one that really leaves an impact on me is Willy Russell’s “Educating Rita”. It is humorous and entertaining in its own way and yet meaningful. The questions asked frequently by Rita are just like having my voice recorded and was played over and over again in my mind. What is it like to be educated? Can education change your life? Can you develop your character through education? Is education about having qualification only? Rita has decided to enter the Open University and there she is lucky enough to meet Frank who has quenched her thirst with knowledge she needs. Interestingly not only that, Frank too has learnt a lot from Rita despite her lack of “education” compared to him who is a professor in a university. What about me? Why am I here in University Putra Malaysia, leaving my kids with my mom and dad? Is it everything about getting a higher pay when you have a higher education? People believe that as an educated p...

The last play that we study in this semester, “30 Days in September” by Mahesh Dattani was simply remarkable. My friends and I, we were fortunate enough to have the chance to watch the play before even studying it in the class. By watching the play, it helps us a lot in comprehending the story and getting us prepared for discussions in class. It deals with the tattered relationship between a mother and her only child, Mala. Mala was a victim of a man with the beast-like-behaviour. She was being abused ever since she was a little girl. As she grew up, her feelings of anger and resentment towards her mother grew as well. She sort of blamed her mother for everything that had had happened to her when she was young. What she expected from her mom was some protection, instead her mom seemed to ignore and denying the fact that her only daughter was being molested by her own blood brother. Who could have imagined such filthy and immoral act were actually done by someone from your own family, f...

A tear-jerking ending!!! It really tears my heart out. That was my first remarks after the movie has ended. And I found myself in a pool of tears! Well, I was not the only one. My friends were crying too. Personally I feel that Yasmin Ahmad has done a good job. She has successfully convey her message through this simple and yet touching love story but very deep in its meaning. “He doesn’t know me well enough to like me, but he’s in love with me.” The line uttered by Orked, in one of the scenes in “Sepet”. I think that statement is very true indeed. Love is very subjective and it has no boundaries. We have no reason why we like a person. We can’t possibly justify why we love one even though the person is oceans apart. Love can reach out and touch one’s heart even without knowing how the other person looks like. Of course this is very rare but it does happen sometimes. Love, to me, is indeed a piece of literature - different people and different culture with different percept...

Questions after questions kept flashing in my mind as I read one of Bernard Shaw’s famous plays “Pygmalion”. What does it mean by real education? Does beauty reflect virtue? What is the importance of one’s appearance and how does it change someone’s life? Through the main character, Eliza Doolittle, I noticed that the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she’s treated. Eliza manages to fool the society about her “real” identity and has successfully made others think that she is a princess from the way she dressed and the proper way of speaking. Is this the education that she needs in order to make her feel accepted by the so-called noble society? Is this the real education that she is talking about? To me Eliza is a smart girl. She knows what she wants in her life. Eliza, despite her lacking of education, has learnt that external changes are never enough to make her an educated lady. She realizes that the real education th...

When we were assigned to work on eblogs, it reminds me of the online forums that we had last semester. It was an exciting experience indeed working on the forums. Eblogs are quite similar to online forums except that we have a wider range of audience and we are free to write about anything that we want to regard the main title that we had chosen. Having to post my writings on eblogs is just like having my personal diaries read by others. Whatever I have learnt in my Literature class have somehow given me the chance to make my own reflection and how I relate to those happenings in real life and finally have my thoughts displayed on this eblogs. For me, writing eblogs is, in the many ways, an ideal tool for both teaching and learning because it provides novelty and opportunities for language learning especially for the students. Besides private chat rooms where students can experience authentic environment and real audiences for students ( some people believe that chatting is...

Last week my classmates and I were assigned with our first simulated teaching for this semester. However just before the class started, I realized that I have forgotten to bring my CD, which I’m going to use for the set induction. Without any delay, I grabbed my car keys, ran down a flight of stairs, walked hurriedly to the parking lot, started my car and quickly drove home. Along the way I can’t help but to be angry to myself. How could I be so careless? What was I thinking? After less than 15 minutes I found myself standing right in front of my study table searching for my CD. Bingo!! Found it!! After putting it safely in my bag, I rushed back to class. The minute I stepped my feet in the classroom obviously the class has started when I saw one of my classmates performing her simulated teaching with Dr. Edwin sitting at the back of the class evaluating her. I managed to squeeze in quietly hoping that I will not be disturbing others. After panting a breathe of exasperation, I heard my...